Oct 14th, 2020: Family Brokenness
Family brokenness happens more often than people are willing to acknowledge. Problems exist between people, and their adult children are more prevalent in my line of work than I prefer. I have heard parents who told me in private that they plan to take some of their children off their wills. Somehow the idea of cutting off adult children from personal inheritance has become a popular option. The resolutions for their problems seem to be impossible. The children have also appeared to commit an offense towards their parents as well. Can healing for these estrangements be possible?
We need to realize that both sides will suffer tremendous losses. Parents might lose more emotionally because of the grandchildren. The most challenging aspect is to have the courage and the freedom to see the brokenness through the other person's eyes. Sometimes we might be stuck with the belief that we are in the right completely. Then we might as well say that we are without sin in these relationships. That is an impossibility.
The grievances from the children are more personal and yet not too specific. They might just talk in general terms about how they feel or how the parents have wronged them. Maybe the demand for a real change is not absurd at all because it sets a new tone of freedom for meaningful reconciliation. Some might say that the parents might consider taking the high road in dealing with the children during these times. We might pray that God will show us the right pathway to true healing.
We might need to be more careful about our reaction. We might consider the long term consequences of what we are about to say and do. If our relationship with one another is eternal while many other things are temporal, how are we going to respond to our children's accusations? Can we be positive even though they are demanding and challenging? Reconciliation sometimes calls for a more well-defined boundary than we initially agree. We will learn to respect one another within that boundary.
I know I am not giving you any answers except a whole bunch of questions. I only invite you to entertain the possibility of reconciliation with those you have suffered from estrangement. It might be the best gift you have in 2020. It might be the vaccine for an angry soul.
Hebrews 12: 14
"Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness, no one will see the Lord."