Oct 18th, 2020: Dealing with Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse is more common than we are willing to acknowledge. Most of it, unfortunately, is initiated by people who are close to us. Maybe we are not able to face how we feel because we find ourselves living in denial as a way of coping. Sometimes we see it in the way husbands and wives relate to one another. Sometimes, it happens in family relationships, friendships, and dating relationships. What are some of the signs we might want to look for in emotional abuse?
Patronizing: it is one of the worst ways to put someone down. It is degrading, and worst of all, sometimes it is claimed to be done out of love.
Dismissiveness: it attacks and undermines the worth of someone's else. It seems to communicate that your presence and existence don't matter to another person.
Outburst: this is a common expression of emotional abuse. It comes with tirades and angry words. It attacks the well being of the receivers directly.
Unpredictability: abusers use this to control the abused. They throw their victims out of control and into despair by this type of behaviour. Anger takes over kindness. Chaos replaces peacefulness.
Turning the tables of blame and shame: Now we see the abused is being accused of what is happening. The abuser now blames the abused for what they do.
Trivializing: when the abused wants to talk about hurt feelings, she (he) is told that she (he) is overreacting. It is a way to undress an attempt to seek understanding.
There are a lot more I can write about, but these are a few examples so that we have some ideas of what we are looking at in terms of emotional abuse. How are we going to deal with these deadly temptations in our relationship with one another? The passage I am looking at is Ephesians 4: 2:
"With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love."
Here is my reflection on the meanings of these aspects of love:
Humility: having a proper understanding of who we are in the presence of God and our relationship with one another.
Gentleness: having the desire to have a healing presence in our relationship with one another.
Patience: having the willingness to walk with one another in pain and suffering.
Bearing with one another in love: committing to be with one another through the ups and downs of life.
It is not a bad idea to consider them so that we won't allow ourselves to entertain the temptations to abuse one another emotionally. After all, we are the product of the broken relationship between man and God.
