June 17th, 2021: Abuses Have No Part of God

 


This past year has been one of many challenges for many couples. Working from home and being in an enclosed space together have proven to be an eye-opening experience for many of them emotionally. One of the main discoveries is to understand the dynamic of emotional abuse in relationships. Some are reluctant to use words like emotional abuse, gaslighting, and mental abuse to describe what they are experiencing. There are various expressions of these behaviors. 


Verbal assaults: this happens more than people think. It is not uncommon for me to witness it. Men and women can be so angry at one another that their languages become foul. There is no more kindness.


Threats: this tends to be more subtle than we think. It is not loud but deep. It damages the hearts of those who hear. It is hurtful when it comes from those who are supposed to love, protect and support us. 


Rejection: This behavior can damage people's self-esteem. Their sense of emotional safety is also disappeared. Sometimes it is challenging for people to describe their true feeling when this happens. Many just have a blank face when being asked about their feeling.


Neglect: it tends to be combined with rejection to make life the living hell for the victims. The darkness that accompanies it brings a deep sense of hopelessness. People don't know where to turn to look for hope. Some withdraw even more.


Isolation: Abusers protect themselves. by isolating their victims. They don't have much contact and interaction with their families and friends. Some think that are at fault and begin to blame themselves. It creates self-doubt and suicidal thoughts for some. Now comes the vortex of confusion.


When we consider the teaching of 1 Corinthians 13 above love, we know that the behaviors listed above are ungodly and abusive. Here is the passage:


"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."


1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

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