Oct 19th, 2021: More About Empathy

 


Let us continue with my post yesterday. Empathy has been a big word in business leadership training for the last decade. Some even consider it the most significant aspect of leadership. It requires listening and freedom to identify ourselves with other people's life experiences. Yesterday, a manager told me that he is about to run out of empathy in his relationship with one of his team members. He wants to help and yet finds himself in a position of knowing how.


We need to balance our desire to understand with our need to convey our honest thoughts and feeling. To be empathetic does not mean to overlook our assessment of what is going on with the situation. It is about tactful honesty while addressing challenging issues. We need to provide corrections without destroying people. Telling the truth in love is an art. Two realities are intertwined. We are created by God and damaged by sin.


We need to be aware of our own negative emotions. It might not be a bad idea to acknowledge it and then to keep a tap on it. Being emotional is not always a bad thing. Not being able to manage our emotions is another story. We need to learn the discipline of self-control and watch our tongues. We need to be able to express our negative feelings without being mean and negative. Raising our voices is not helpful. Being overly critical is worse. Neither approach helps us developed our empathy.


Understanding others' perspectives doesn't mean that we won't keep them accountable for their commitments and responsibilities. Empathy should increase our level of commitment and accountability. We need to help others to overcome their shortcomings by identifying the issues they have. That demands intentional listening skills and a desire to see people get better. Accountability without guidance and correction will bring about failure.


Proverbs 15: 32

"Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence."


James 5: 19-20

"My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins."

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