Oct 13th, 2020: The Algorithm of Love

 Top 20 Best Free Dating Sites - The Ultimate List of Sites to Find Dates Online

Finding a life long mate is supposed to be a normal process of human life. After all, God did say that it is not good for a man to be alone. In the past, parents would plan and match their children with potential future spouses. Sometimes they depend on other trusted friends or family members. We then entered the age of having the freedom and the opportunities to look for someone to date and eventually to marry. There are benefits and risks in both. Then comes the online dating services. It is a 2.4 billion business annually. Many young men and women I know have been using these services with various degrees of success.

There seem to be no natural opportunity to be able to meet other people anymore. The lack of time and the increasing isolation and privacy in our life might be the culprit of this. I talked to some young people who live in condos downtown, and they have no ideas about who are the people who live on their floor. Going to a bar and a pub can be a disaster for some while hoping to meet someone. People are more apprehensive about seeing someone at the office because of the implications concerning their careers.

People will hide behind the screen. It is not a good beginning when people start with an unrealistic picture of themselves. So what else they have to lie about themselves, who they are, what they have done, and what they are hoping for in life. The TV ads for these dating services tend to portray the "amazing" experience these potential couples have. I am not saying that it doesn't happen. It does take away the process of personal discovery in dating. It is like paying money so that some computer software (algorithm) can let us know that there are people who might be interested in our inaccurate presentation of ourselves.

There is also the potential to be addicted to these dating apps. Some studies indicate that single people who are suffering from loneliness might develop such a tendency (Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble from Ohio State University - Journal of Social and Personal Relationships). Some people might develop a compulsive use of these apps. That is not a good recipe to have in dealing with loneliness. Dr. Ruth (a well-known sex therapist) says that smartphones have ruined dating. Well, we can extrapolate that smartphones have done a lot of bad things to us. It might just make us dumber while dealing with many aspects of life.

Jeremiah 29: 11
"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

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