Sept 18th, 2021: Freedom and Forgiveness



I listened to someone recently about how her inability to forgive her father has weighed her down since his death three years ago. He was an addict, and he could not help himself to get out of the habit. He tried his best to be a dad and failed miserably. She had mixed memories of her time with him. She had to grow up so fast as she drove him to one rehab after another. They never had enough food. She remembers many lonely walks to school alone. Her mother was too depressed to help.


She was angry at him for the loss of innocence in her childhood. She was ashamed of him because of his inability to be her father. She was impatient with him because he could not do anything right. She didn't know where he was for days because he was homeless. He eventually died from an overdose.

He is gone, and she's now left with a tremendous amount of unexplainable guilt. She feels ashamed because she doesn't have a forgiving heart towards him. She remembers many unpleasant conversations she had with him during many of her sleepless nights. She wishes she could forgive and let go of these horrible memories. She knows that God's forgiveness is more powerful than her resentment. She hangs on to that belief as she works through the traps of emotional slavery.

We talked about God's forgiveness for us eventually. Sometimes we have to go through tremendous pain as we learn to embrace that forgiveness because we also need to forgive others. I reminded her that her feeling now tells me that she loves her dad deeply. Her inability to express that love as a daughter because she wished she had a regular dad.

We had this conversation at his grave. She quietly told her dad she loves, forgives, and misses him. It was a cold day, and we could see the sun tried to break out of the cloudy sky. I am grateful for the experience. God's presence is so real when we learn how to forgive. She is freer now as she looks forward to the future.

Matthew 11: 25
“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

Colossians 3: 13
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

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