20-22 Covid-19 Daily Reflections

  A young fellow called me yesterday and let me know that he is planning to get married later this summer and would like to know whether I will be able to celebrate their wedding. It was rather a refreshing call because many phone calls I have received lately are not happy ones. He was excited and told me that together they have started their search for a house. He then told me about the real reason for his call. He wonders whether I would meet with both of them due to Covid-19 to walk through a period of preparation with them. For me, it is both a privilege and a responsibility to take on that role in someone's life and I won't take it lightly. So I asked them to think about a few questions before our first meeting: A) Why marriage? Many people nowadays just chose to live together? Why didn't they consider that option? B) Why each other? Have they known much about each other's personal and family history? What would they appreciate about each other's fa...

    Listening to the news can be a dangerous thing to do to our mental health and emotional well-being. We are bombarded with constant new developments and most of them are tragic. It might not be a bad idea to go on a diet away from the news so that we can regain some sense of sanity. We have to decide how we would like to invest our time to preserve our well-being. It might be helpful for us to learn about true heroes in human history. Read about men and women who have been able to make a difference in life, have been using their gifts to make others better and have invested greatly in their passion for pursuing truth in various learning disciplines. Men and women who dare to go outside the accepted paradigm of their time to see the world in a completely different light. Who are these people in your life? It might even better to learn from the true servants of humanity. Men and women who would sacrifice their lives with the hope that the oppressed, the poor, ...

  Sometimes when we listen to the news too much, we find ourselves become indifferent toward what we hear. It is the nature of news reporting and the rush for the latest developments sometimes takes discernment and wisdom in news reporting. Terminologies like "The Situation Room", "Fox Files", "The 11th Hour"...all carry a sound of self-importance. As I am slowly re-engaging in my daily activities, one thing I realized that people are tired of the negativity and they are worried about the future. There are many questions and the answers are not coming fast enough. It could be true that this pandemic has put our entire political and economic frameworks into question. Even what we cherish as civil, compassionate, and equal society has been on fragile ground. People are crying for leadership and we are still waiting. Many political leaders in Canada are now making noise about the systemic abuse of elderly people in long term care facilities. It ...

  Most of us have a favourite food that we would love to have whenever we have a chance. It doesn't have to be something fancy. It is just something that has a lot of association with our childhood, our years of growing up, or family and our specific experience. One of my endearing Vietnamese dishes is Pork Belly Stew and Egg (Trứng Heo Kho). Memories are just flooding back whenever I have that dish. Food provides us with a sense of identity. My wife was born in the Midwest USA and they talk about Catfish. We go down to further south in Georgia, then it is fried chicken. Clam chowder is what people rave about in Boston. Then if you end up being in Quebec Canada, poutine is your game...it gives a sense of comfort in knowing where we belong. Food is what people do when they gather. How many times we heard people say that the most used room in their house is the kitchen. It is a place where good families gather, especially during a holiday. Food tends to be the backgroun...

  Things that used to be normal now become precious. Things we used to do without much worry now we have to think twice about it. Nothing can be more troublesome than grandparents cannot come and visit their grand kids, friends can just gather for a meal or a drink, children cannot come and see their elderly parents in nursing homes, parents cannot come home and hug their kids because of their jobs, good friends cannot shake hands and embrace, families cannot go to ballparks and have fun together, ...there are so many things. When we think about these unfortunate facts, what should we pray for? Pray that we don't lose our humanity. We are created for community and family. When we lose that aspect of our life, we might lose more than we are aware of. Suddenly we become tenser and wonder what others might give to us and vice versa. Staying emotionally engaged while physically distancing is not an easy task. We can "zoom" as much as we like and that doesn't ...

  Most of the public festivals and events in many big cities in Canada have been canceled until the end of August. People will not travel as much and as often. Life will be quite different for many of us as the summer comes along. There is no need for us to complain about how things cannot be. There are still plenty of things to consider with the time and the opportunities we have. Many non-profit organizations are calling for help from volunteers and asking for support in donations as the needs of many unfortunate segments of our societies have increased. What would be the benefits for us personally by looking at these opportunities? Learning how to listen to others on crisis prevention phone line will help us to understand comfort. The more we allow ourselves to walk with those who are mourning, the deeper we understand that God is the source of all comfort. Learning how to be generous with our time and resources will enhance our understanding of our lives meaning...

  Some of you might know that my elderly father (99 years old) was diagnosed with Covid-19 in early May. He is a resident of a nursing home in Montreal and that facility was contaminated by workers who traveled from one nursing home to another. After two weeks of quarantine, he was tested twice and both tests came back negative so he is officially clear from the virus. Although we as a family are grateful for the news, we find ourselves grieving with other families who have lost their loved ones who were in the same nursing home. The information we received is 12 have died and more than 40 others are being treated and quarantined. There are 120 residents in the home. We can experience great joy and unfathomable sorrow at the same time. Both experiences simply confirm to me the presence of God in life. Joy tells me about the goodness of God. Sorrow reveals to me the identification of God in human suffering. They are at the different ends of the spectrum of life experie...

  Anti-Asian hate crime is on the increase since Covid-19 dominates the news coverage around the world. Hate is a complex emotion and it doesn't have much to with the victims. People who hate are simply portraying the image of an insecure interior self. Hate is an attempt to masquerade the desire for power and control over others. We have seen more news reports about some people who use cursing language or act violently towards another group of people. How do we respond? If we return hatred with hatred, then we step right into the trap of the evil one? By doing so, we grant these folks too much power to deny their authentic selves that belong to God. What shall we do? Haters need a lot of love. Most of them might not know what love is. It is not just the love from others but also the love for oneself. Finding that love by hating others is not possible. Maybe it is a cry of one's corrupted condition. Cursers are in need of blessings. Cursing language usually comes ...

  Someone asked me last week whether I believe in Ghost. My answer to that is I believe that there is a lot more to life than just the physical world we live in. It is an important question this fellow has. I shared with him that how we deal with the non-physical world depends on our worldviews and the belief system we subscribe to. Mahatma Gandhi once said that "Your belief becomes your thoughts". That is helpful for us to look at this statement more carefully. Our thoughts about other people and various events in life have to be a reflection of our belief system.. For example, I woke up this morning to the realization that today is a gift from God and He grants me to have it. It belongs to God. Then I need to cherish every single encounter I have with people on this day because each one of them is Holy moment. It is Holy because it belongs to God. Let us take that thought one step further. Our daily interactions with people should be viewed as God's precio...

  Sometimes I really enjoy the rain, especially when it is light and refreshing. Walking through a park in the rain can be therapeutic for me. It helps me to listen more to the voice of my own heart while listening to the rain. People usually don't walk in the rain so I have a lot of space to wander and wonder. It is one of those days today. Rain is the source of life because it brings water to plants, animals, and human beings. We can survive without food a lot longer than without water. It also cleans the air, fills streams, lakes, rivers, and replenishing the water table. The opposite of rain is drought and that symbolizes desolation, death, and despair. The real challenge in some parts of the world today is drought. Freshwater became scarce. We realize how we have taken a natural phenomenon for granted. I know some farmers in Alberta who have sections of their farm that rarely get rain. Those pieces of land will become a wasteland. One of the major prayers of farm...

  We built a lower deck 30 years ago and it was a good one. However, after this winter our beloved deck that was extensively enjoyed by our kids and their friends started showing signs of aging. We decided to rebuild it with the same original design because it was a proven one.  One of the most important aspects of building a deck is to make sure that it is level. Structures are safer when they are level. It won't bend or crack in the wrong way. It will tolerate the stress of use and stress of the harsh climate we have better. We just have to pay attention to the needed details to be sure that it is level. It is a job that cannot be rushed. Structures also look a lot better and pleasing to the eyes when they are level. Have you ever seen a non-level deck by a house? Something bad is about to happen and we need to call the Fire Department. It makes the whole property looks unkept. The same thing can be said about us and interaction with one another and with life in general. Th...

  After meeting with a friend who is a mental coach for the Canadian Special Olympics Team, I realized how much I miss meaningful and face to face conversations. He and I have been working on some theories about how our well being depends on our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual movements. We don't always agree but that is the specialness of our friendship. We compared notes and talked about what we have learned from people we coach. Interestingly, we focused our conversation on the same four main points even though we have been approaching them quite differently. Having a Goal: this is the most common point in many leadership materials. However, we were talking about having a goal from a spiritual angle. Our goal is to truly discover one true self in the art of living. Learning how to walk away from the fabricated self and welcome the true self that God has created at the beginning of time. Having a Plan: how we develop the true self will help us discover how the fabricat...

  A young man called me last night and he was tormented by his relationship with his mother. It is not because she was a horrible mom. It was unresolved grief that is caused by his dad's suicide a few years ago. Emotionally, he blames parents for his father's death although he knows intellectually that it is not right. I knew the father a bit because his mother and her family came to see me for help when they first arrived in Canada. He was a brilliant physician and who was quite loved by people of a small northern town in Alberta. He was awkward in some ways and very uncomfortable in social conversations. This young man has had many conversations with me ever since the suicide. His father's death has been a major topic of our time together. Most of our conversation yesterday was about forgiveness. We were talking about forgiving people who never ask or haven't got a chance to ask us to forgive them. The question is whether we can forgive without being asked. His father...

  One of the businesses that have been allowed to reopen in Canada is golfing. Personally, golfing had been one of the vehicles that God has been using to keep me humble.  Usually, people play sports so that they can feel relax and let go of some of the stress. I have seen the opposites as I watched how some golfers dealing with the game. Let me be honest, I am not anywhere close to being called a golfer. Most of the time I play because they are fundraising events for various charities. However, there are indeed many lessons we can learn about life from golfing. THE DRIVE:  this is a long-distance shot and usually taken from the tee. It is important to start a game with a decently long and accurate drive. You can advance your game. We have different reasons for different drives in life. One will take us somewhere he would like to be usually based on an accurate understanding of ourselves and our capabilities. Some golfers can drive with amazing distanc...

  Most of us would enjoy a good meal with good friends. Some of us like to extend our hospitality by inviting family or friends over and cook for them. Others would prefer just to go out, relax, and have a nice time. Food has become an important hospitable aspect of many cultures. In our own culture, sometimes we ask this question when we see one another: "Have you eaten today?". It is not "How are you?" which can be an ambivalent question to ask. Cooking is an art form. For me, it is a creative process of how one can marinate various ingredients into one recipe. It is amazing to learn how simple vegetables, meat, and spices ...can be weaved into an incredible dish. Good cooking is not done half-heartedly. It demands precision in measurements and time. It also calla for the imagination of the chef. God is working with us in the world is similar to "cooking" as well. God is continuing to create via our creativity and talents. He has a "recipe" for...

  Listening to a mother who lost two of her sons in a span of thirteen weeks is not something I expected yesterday morning. I was getting ready for the day when she called. I met her when the first son died from severe depression in late February. I just happened to know a friend of hers and her family. Her second was in a vehicle that was hit by a train last Friday just about 4 blocks away from her house. The question she asked was: "Can you tell me where God is in the midst of all of this?". She was just sobbing. That is not an unreasonable question to ask when we are overwhelmed by our suffering. Many years a Jewish rabbi asked a similar question in a concentration in Nazi Germany. As he was escorted by German troops across the main courtyard of the camp because they wanted him to witness the hanging of many of his people. "Where are you, Yahweh? Where are you when your chosen people suffer?" He then quietly heard a voice that said: "I am there with them...I...

  I recently learned that in order for our brain to get going in the morning is to brush our teeth by using our non-dominant hand. By doing so, we force ourselves to get out of our lazy habits and develop new neurological capacity. It sounds simple but it was rather clumsy at the beginning. We have some habits that actually take away our ability to pay attention to what we are doing. I actually drove downtown one day and was thinking that I needed to be there for a meeting. Well, the meeting was at the airport and nowhere near downtown. The next thing I have been trying to do first thing in the morning is not to look at my cell phone as soon as I get up. I try to avoid starting my day with unhealthy distractions and become somewhat reactive to what I see. I prefer to be quiet, read, and pray. Sometimes the temptation is there due to pure curiosity. I would rather have a clear focus on what my day is about and plan for it. One more thing that I have been trying to do more consistent...

  Sometimes I need to do something with my hands in order to feel like I am getting something done. Working with people and their life issues, I rarely have the pleasure to know I actually accomplish something. It is always working progress and sometimes it goes backward. My coping mechanism for that is to find something to fix practically. And yes, I have been in this line of work since 1984. Why do we have the desire to help people get better? Maybe we see the beauty in other people's lives that they cannot see for themselves. Maybe we realize that human suffering was not part of God's plan for humanity. When we have the need to reach out and help others, we discover something about ourselves in God. Personally, I don't think that God's spirit lives within me when that happens. It is me who lives within God. When we choose to live life in such a way, we actually become more aware of our own spiritual poverty, emotional bankruptcy, and physical feebleness. Yet, in the ...

  Giving flowers has been a gesture to express love, appreciation, comfort, and affirmation. Most mothers got some yesterday and most of the time they don't have to be elaborate to be appreciated. Sometimes I wonder why some people prefer flowers instead of chocolate? Flowers don't just tell they show. At this time of the year where I am, they show that spring is coming and the cold winter days will soon be gone. They show life after 6 months of being frozen in the ground. They show the beauty of colours that make our eyes alive. Flowers are singing the music of the ground as some may say. It is the music to tell the world that there is still a lot of life left and they are ready to reveal that to anyone who desires to see. They tell us that the soil structure is good, fertile and capable of breathing life into these delicate and yet durable features of God's creation. Flowers are the manifestation of love and care of gardeners. They tend their garden with commitments. They...

    Today is Mother's Day. Please make sure you take some time to think about your mother if she is lo longer with you. If she is, then make sure you give her a call. Many cultures honor mothers on special occasions. I am thankful whenever I see a good mom. We live in a time when we have also witnessed the opposite: children are abused and neglected, children are abandoned emotionally and physically, children are terminated before their births, children are damaged by the addictions of their mothers. These are some of the few issues that I have encountered because of my line of work. Good mothers can show their children a lot about the nature of God. For me, good motherhood is part of God's goodness. Let us consider some of them. Mothers in general are more attentive or in tune with the children's emotional and physical needs. Maybe we get a chance to be in sync with our mother in her womb. I have also met some mothers who are amazing in praying for their kids. Mothers tend...

  The weather has been up and down quite often where I live. There is a saying in Alberta that "if you don't like the weather, wait for a few hours". It is going to snow this weekend (yes, you read it correctly) after a couple of weeks of amazingly warm and sunny weather. We have to learn how to make needed adjustments quickly and to be ready for the unexpected. It is good that we have learned to be flexible because flexibility is very critical in the post-pandemic time. Some of you might have heard me saying this: "I am responsible for what I know and I pray earnestly for what I don't know" as I respond to various challenging events of life. Being flexible requires tremendous personal discipline so that we won't be trapped in a helpless situation. It is also about having an honest understanding of our capabilities or the lack thereof. It helps us not to react but to rethink about what we are facing. It is also helpful to have hope during the post-pandem...

    The story of families who could not come and see their elderly parents during this Covid-19 Pandemic has been in the news since the beginning of our shutdown. It is a heartbroken story for some because of their loved ones suffer from serious physical and emotional loneliness. As the separation is getting longer and with Mother's Day is coming, we begin to see the rise of emotion from folks because they don't think it is right for their mothers or grandmothers to be in total isolation during such a time. The urge to blame someone is a great temptation even though we might be aware that certain things just have to be done for the well-being of many others. "Why don't they just give us a straight answer?" A daughter exasperatedly told a news reporter recently when she learned that she is not able to see her mom this coming weekend. Sometimes I wonder that physical separation has given us time to reflect over our relationships with our loved ones and maybe that co...

    It is not easy to negotiate the passage to the truth these days in dealing with an amazing amount of information we have been bombarded by various sources of media. Sometimes we feel as if we have no time to have a quiet moment to sort through what we learned and how we should respond. Having dealt with Covid-19 in both personal situations and work-related ones, I have no question about the severity of the virus and its impact on our lives. I simply pray that God either will remove it directly or grant us knowledge in doing so. But there are still questions about different conspiracies and about a small group of very wealthy people who have a desire to create a "global crisis" to manipulate, control and eventually gain dominance over the world from this pandemic. They are based their approach on three steps: they create a crisis ---> people demand answers for the crisis ---> they offer solutions. I am not smart enough or evil enough to become an expert on all aspect...

    It won't take long for businesses to reopen in many cities. People are both excited and afraid at the same time. It is like taking a trip through a haunted house. We know that it will be scary and yet our curiosity won't allow us to stop. We all know that things won't be the same as before the pandemic and yet we are wondering how things are going to be like. People have different reasons to want things to be back to "normal" although most know deep down inside that nothing will be the same. We want to feel as if we can regain control of our own life. Some might even go further to suggest that they are fighting against the control of some hidden global agenda. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what position we take, it is still the same battle over the control of one's destiny. Most brokenness in human relationships is also based on this very struggle. Men exercise power over their wives and women manipulate their husbands in their own maneuvers...

  I have to be honest that there are a few people in my life that I wish I could give each of them a huge hug. I miss that. I have realized more and more that I am not created for this 6ft apart behaviour. We can zoom as much as we like and yet it will never replace the true human touch. Have we ever considered that this Covid-19 has taken away one of the most precious gifts in human life is being touched by their loved ones while dying? A gentle touch of loved ones and a warm hug from someone who loves you. Many elderly folks today are going through that time of their life alone. It is scientifically proven that there is a direct correlation between human touch and brain development and therefore social development in children. Their emotional impairment can be an outcome of human touch deprivation. Human touch covers many needs in our human development to live life more fully and effectively. It would be unfair to blame Covid-19 for becoming a barrier in human touch alone. Many c...

    Zoom has become a household name for many businesses and families in recent weeks. Now the verb "to zoom" has taken a totally different meaning. It tells us that the need for human connection is essential to our well-being and our sense of belonging to a larger community and family.  In Maslow's analysis of human needs, belonging comes right after safety. We are created for relationships. Each of us will form our sense of community and loves to belong to one. Some of us love to have many relationships and others just need a couple. Our sense of belonging also grants us our own identity. That is why cultural formation is important to us. Different cultural celebrations are cherished among people around the world. Diet, spices, and food play a significant part in our well being. I was with my son a few years ago and he has his own "cultural group" who had their preference. At the time they were really into canapes so going out for that is excited for them. Som...

  I spent Saturday repainting the old metal sheds we have in our backyard. It is an old shed where we used to store the kids' outdoor toys and bikes. It should be taken to the dump years ago but it didn't happen. It is still there because it reminds me of the years when the kids were young and I don't want to lose it. Memory is essential in life because it helps us understand our own life history. It plays a great part in an ongoing story of who we are, where we are from, where we are going, why we are the way we are, and what is important to us. Memory can be painful, exciting, bewildering, beautiful, and perplexing. Yet, without memory, we are like a tree without its roots. It has no chance to grow, to flourish, and to provide comfort with those who seek refuge on a hot day. The deeper the roots dig further into the ground (our ways of nurturing our memory), the more a tree can weather the elements. So memory is not just about the past, it has a conversation with the pres...

    I spent the whole day listening to people today. In many ways, life is far more internally challenging than people anticipated as they spend time at home, and sometimes that can bring about various emotions. That is why I am on the phone with some of these folks. Listening demands a lot more strength and discipline than we realize. As we listen to people, we learn about where people are at this present moment in their lives. Everyone has a story and these stories sometimes find their way into our hearts. A friend shared with me honestly how he feels in dealing with his wife's health predicament. She has been sick for a long time. In many ways, it is a story of endurance, commitment, and faith even though he is tired. He is tired of not knowing what is next. He is tired of praying for her and she is not getting better. He is in turmoil as he walks between making sure that she is cared for and feeling the tiredness of his being. It is a story that has no clear conclusions. H...

It will be very soon that most stores will take the temperature of their customers before anyone can enter. It will be part of the screening process to ensure the safety of everyone. We screen or are screened more often in life than we actually know it. In Canada, when we get our driver's license renewed, we are screened for unpaid traffic tickets and other offenses. Screenplay writers will read novels and make that into different movie scenes that we see. We are screened by Border Security whenever we cross a border between two countries. When our teenage daughter brings a boy home, he will indeed be screened by mom and dad. Screening is our way to ensure meaning, safety, privilege, acceptance, and compatibility. In the language of the Bible, God will screen us by searching our hearts and discovering our anxious thoughts. The examination of one's heart is a troubling business for many of us. The truth is that some of us might just be too chicken to act out our evil thoughts. G...